They asked if it pained while they inserted the needle. I said once you go through the mental pain, physical pain seems trivial. Plus this physical pain was trivial too,hell it was a needle, I had been cut and gotten stitched before. There are people out there who have undergone intense physical pain as well. I believe they will also agree on this: nothing compares to the mental agony. And that is what will break you. Scars on skin show when the wound is healed, but scars on the mind and heart can freshen anytime with memories. I want to give insight on how to ease it. I believe, I have realised this in 24 years of my life, having seen life from various viewpoints: failed and succeeded,judged and questioned, loved and lost, hurt and healed, travelled and eaten alone (yup that is an acheivement, it grows you tremendously in an unconventional way) that pain is what will grow you. It is in your hands how you come out of the furnace: burnt or glowing.
Yes I believe it is in your hands to be happy and fulfilled but we as human beings have a duty to make sure we do not become a source of the mental pain or the physical pain to another human. It sounds really simple but it is not. We are born humans but to fulfill humanity, to have that realisation is difficult. And nobody can teach you that. That is where your conscience comes in. Make it strong. Believe in yourself. You might have been wronged. Foget and forgive and move on. You might have done wrong. Realise, repent and move on. The life is a cycle. What you sow so shall you reap. You will want to avenge. No that will be falling to their level- don’t. Remember there are a few of you left. You are good. Yes you will suffer but it will turn out to be for the best. Let them ease out stepping on you. You will rise and they will fall. You do not need to bother. It is the cycle of life. Help the underdogs.
Once I was travelling alone: I usually do, an old woman had a lot of luggage. It was a big sack of grains and a bag of her tattered clothing. She was poor, wizened. Nobody offered to help her with her heavy luggage. I helped her carry it to the vehicle. She thanked me and told me how she had lost her only son who was her sole care-taker so she had come to her daughter’s and son-in-law’s place to borrow some grain as they grew it. When she got down I paid for her fare. She thanked and smiled a lot. I do not tell this to show my goodness or kindness. But yes she smiled and smiled through the pain and I made it happen. That is where I am happy. I play with kids suffering from cancer. There enthusiasm is mesmerising. I am not asking you to compare you have it better. I believe if we should not compare riches then we should not compare rags. Everyone has their own share of pain. What we can do is share and lessen it as a human. There lies our true happiness.
You will not have a certificate to prove these things. But they certify your character. As someone said, “Character is what you do for someone who can do nothing for you.” Still in this world character is judged by some physical aspects by some people. This is where humanity is ashamed. I do not wish to condemn them or judge them. I can only stand as an example, guide them and pray that they change themselves so that humanity can prosper.
I have experienced pain. I lost my world: my father three years ago. I loved and got abandoned. I have scars. But that will not stop me to rise or to get new wounds even.
I know it hurts so bad it is hard to explain. You blame yourself thinking where you went wrong. Those shivers sobbing uncontrollably all night or even in crowds or the washroom nobody knows. But at that time I just ask you to just calm down for a moment and feel the beating of your heart. Think: It is the heart which is keeping me going and I am breathing, right? What else can be a greater gift. You are yourself responsible to keep your heart going. This body is nothing. It will be nothing if you wound your mind and heart. They did but as I said don’t stoop to their level. God will take care of the rest. We as humans should take care of each other as humans. Those who do it I urge them to quit playing with others’ emotions and feelings. Those who have been played with forgive and let go. There is light at the end of the dark tunnel as long as you keep going. And it is in you. Not the one who broke you or even me who is trying to mend you. Cherish those who love you unconditionally. They are scarce in this world today. But above all love yourself.
I know what it takes to fall and I even know how to get up. And if I can do it so can you. My prayers are with you, may you rise above the wreck they thought they created of you. And you heal and emit so much positivity it heals someone by just your presence.